Bullying and Our Children

It’s normal to feel frightened and enraged about any kind of threat to our children’s well being, here are six solutions that can help parents to be effective in taking charge.

1. Stop Yourself from Knee-Jerk Reactions
If you act upset your child is likely to get upset too. They might want to protect you and themselves from your reaction and the older your child is, the more important it is that they’re able to feel some control about any follow-up actions you might take with the school.

2. Get Your Facts Right
Ask questions of your child in a calm, reassuring way and listen to the answers; look for solutions, not for blame. Be your child’s advocate, but accept the possibility that your child might have partially provoked or escalated the bullying.

3. Protect Your Child
Your highest priority is to protect your child as best you can. What protecting your child means will vary depending on the ability of the school to resolve the problem, the nature of the problem, and on the specific needs of your child. Each case, like each child is unique.

4. Prevent Future Problems
.Concerned parents can help schools find and implement age-appropriate programs that create a culture of respect, caring, and safety between young people rather than of competition, harassment, and disregard.


5. Get Help for Your Child
Finally, you want to get help for your child and for yourself to deal with the feelings that result from having had an upsetting experience. Sometimes bullying can remind you about bad experiences in your own past. Getting help might mean going to a therapist or talking with counselors provided by the school or by other agencies.


6. Make this into a Learning Experience
As parents, it’s normal to want to protect our children from all harm but our children of also need the room to grow. Upsetting experiences don’t have to lead to long-term damage if children are listened to respectfully, if the problem is resolved, and if their feelings are supported.


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Coping with Exam Stress for Parents

The anxiety of waiting for the leaving cert results can affect the whole family. Irritability, snapping and reckless behaviour sometimes emerges as a response to stress- And that’s just the parents!
Below are some tips to help you and your leaving cert student cope with the pressure of waiting for their results:

Take care of yourself and your child in advance of the exam results:

1. Identify when you are feeling stressed!

Signs you may be feeling stress:
Are you smoking, drinking or behaving in a way you wouldn’t normally think is a good idea?

Are you eating less/more than usual?

Do you have difficulty in concentrating?

Can you feel periodic tightness in your chest, pounding heart or breathing difficulties?

Do you have difficulty getting to sleep or frequent bad dreams?

Are you feeling negative, irritable, alienated or cranky with your friends and family (even when they don’t deserve it!) or have you lost your usual good mood and sense of humour?

Are you having a lot of negative thoughts or are you generally feeling run down and disinterested in what’s going on?

2. Look after yourself and be nice to yourselves in the days leading up to the exam results. Treat one another!!!


3. Try to get some exercise, (exercise releases all those lovely endorphins that make us feel better)and try to allocate some time for relaxation, like listening to music, or taking a time out; try yoga or breathing exercises. This can be really helpful in reducing stress and can helpidentify how we are really feeling.

4. Acknowledge your feelings and expectations, as well as the expectations of others. It’s a lot to ask of bothyou and your child to deal with the pressure or expectations of those around you and to make all the right decisions. For the parent the pressure to guide your child in the right direction, to make life altering decisions is intense. Give yourself a break and ask for some space from spouse or family if you feel you are being put under too much pressure.

5. Talk to your friends, family or a professional:Your child’s friends and other parents  are probably feeling the same as you are, so get it off your chest, it may feel a lot better to know you’re not going through this alone.

For an appointment, please feel free to call me in confidence on 087 709 7477, or email me at midwestcounselling@gmail.com

Explore more about : Psychotherapist Limerick